Grief is a scary thing. It makes a smart man irrational, and a stupid one stupider. While some try to stay logical and focus on tasks that are within their control, others turn to other methods like alcohol, gambling, and excessive companionship. So excessive that if you do not respond to their requests quick enough, or well enough, they'd assume you do not care for them. It's sort of like the manifestation off all their insecurities suddenly all decided to appear and fuck you right in the behind for something you thought was trivial. Which might come as a surprise for many; because since when was your presence so sacred that if you did not attend, you'd ruin someone else's day/mood?
People in grief tend to pity themselves, a lot. They believe that the world around them should cut them some slack and shower them with the care and concern that the very much so lack. However, the harsh reality of the matter is typically the opposite. While friends do bother to listen to your grievances and stories and offer a listening ear of solutions, they cannot be around you all the time when you call for it. And in truth, no one owes you anything, not even if your husband is in jail or if you found out recently that you got cheated on. To this I say, be grateful to the ones who are around. But to condemn those who aren't, that's a stupid way of measuring something as intangible as friendship. No one will pity you like how you're pitying yourself. And it's for the best that you realize it as quickly as possible and work out the things you can still change in your life instead of crying/fretting over spilt milk.
And no, I'm not in grief, nothing sad happened to me it's just an observation I'm making from my encounters with my secondary school friends.
All in all, I think it's healthier to just treasure what you have instead of blaming people around you for the things that they did not provide for you. I'm sure we will all be happier people this way.
