First breathe

Suddenly having little work waiting for me after months of slogging feels a little odd. I guess its a breathe of fresh air but i find myself sitting in the toilet blogging away for abit. Its a friday and i have no plans after work but somehow i find that more of a relief. Hope that coronavirus goes away soon man. I don't want it to ruin my korea travelling plans. There's no deaths in Singapore as of now but i know for sure people are gonna go nuts once someone dies. Ah well..

Random flashback

As I alighted from Redhill to head to the office as usual, I am suddenly struck with a random flashback. It wasn't the first time I have thought about the same thing when I walk past this certain exit on the train station though, pretty interesting how our memories work doesn't it?

I was briefly brought back into a time before I even entered the army, I think I was still in poly back then? And I had to go to this location for my first army test, the kind where they test your intelligence (to a certain extent through lame quizzes), and health. I remember making a friend back then, I couldn't remember his name except that he was Malay and my age, we snuck out for a quick smoke break in between the tests, and at the end of the whole session we both walked back to Redhill MRT exit B to catch our respective trains home. I remember us buying drinks at the nearby cheers and sitting around to smoke a few more sticks just to chill with this dude that I know I'll probably never meet again nor recognise if I ever ran into him. It had to be a fairly nice moment seeing how I remember this incident even years after the encounter.

It's nice to reminisce on the old simpler days though. With the stress of adulting on our asses every single day, I can't help but look back and just feel fairly relieved that I've made many great memories through these short 28 years on earth. (It's a weird phrase I know. But whatever man hahhah)

I'm only posting a lot of videos involving YiRui because of the spam she sent me years ago ok. Finally clearing it off my phone and storing it here instead.

Worst Jan ever

Impending world war, countries on fire or flooding, volcano exploding, a virus that may wipe us all out, colleagues' parents sick, cat had cancer, feeling slightly burnt out from work, and I'm nowhere near the financial goal I set for myself.

All these and it ain't even Feb yet. Things will get better. I hope I can get a more positive outlook on life after I rant here.

I think this vid was taken close to a year ago? Man, time flies so fast soon I'll be 30 before I even know it.

2am thoughts

Browsed through Instagram today and saw familiar faces, and I think to myself about how ironic life sometimes can be, one moment a person that's feared by others can suddenly have their lives sink into chaos the next. It's so sad watching people you know fall into certain depravity but hey, I guess that's what life is about right? The future is always ever so unpredictable. I can only hope mine turns out for the better cos to be honest, life is pretty good except for certain thoughts that creep into my head from time to time.

Gonna travel to HK soon for some shoot, then Hanoi and Genting afterwards. 2019 is easily the year that I travel the most thus far. Gotta try harder to save money though.

Throwback to some cringey stuff my company people were doing while we were in New Rod Fai market wahaha

Void

I feel kinda empty inside at times, and that used to bug me a lot, it still bugs me at times now, but at least I'm learning to live with this feeling of emptiness and "boredom". I'm glad my friends are still sticking it through with me though that really makes me happy :)

I love you mum and dad, thanks for catering to my nonsense demands at times :)

Kinda asking for it

Listening to sad songs to make yourself sadder is such a stupid idea hahaha!

Heard this Ed Sheeran song on the radio today at work that reminded me of her again cos it was the song that I used to make some silly video for her. Fuck man it made me wanna scream out loud but I couldn't cos I was at work. Spent the next few hours thinking about miserable thoughts.

I can't bring myself to block her on social media, I'm not strong enough, nor do I hate her. So there's really no reason to do so, right?

No one gets through life unscathed.

Going to Thailand with this bunch in less than 10 hours. 

Maybe we'll never get better.

Every time I see a wholesome meme or picture that I used to be able to relate to, or have that special someone to share it with, it makes me want to scream out of frustration. I am so fucking angry and sad and I don't know how to deal with it because she ain't coming back and there's nowhere for me to rant but here.

Fuck why she gotta be like that. Why can't love just be love? Fuck this feeling of helplessness la.

At least I still have a loving family, that counts for something I guess.