I really need help, I think?

Had a really bad Saturday which was mostly caused by my own lack of discipline. I feel that alcohol and gambling does not really bring me much fulfilment at all, the only time I felt truly happy and at peace was when I was with Shermane or when I was truly doing "boring stuff" at home.

I feel that perhaps its really going to be a uphill climb for me to qhit smoking though. As much as I want to, I keep having the feeling that i am going to smoke the moment I step foot into office, cos cleaning cat shit without smoking really sucks. What a lame excuse right?

Sometimes my posts can be a little illegible since I rarely bother explaining the finer details of the stuff happening in my life. But oh well, whatever la hor? Haha

Was gonna post longer but my dad started talking to me

Today I have yet another encounter that reminds us to be kinder people. Jac has been having a shitty week lately, actually everyone has been jn a rut except for me, which kinda stresses me out. I feel bad that im the only one having a normal life. I also feel afraid to make mistakes at work because I'm afraid it might let everyone project their shit onto me.

But they didn't.

I should be more kind. Everyone around me is so strong.

Theres actually a part 2 but I guess I'll continue later.