I really need help, I think?

Had a really bad Saturday which was mostly caused by my own lack of discipline. I feel that alcohol and gambling does not really bring me much fulfilment at all, the only time I felt truly happy and at peace was when I was with Shermane or when I was truly doing "boring stuff" at home.

I feel that perhaps its really going to be a uphill climb for me to qhit smoking though. As much as I want to, I keep having the feeling that i am going to smoke the moment I step foot into office, cos cleaning cat shit without smoking really sucks. What a lame excuse right?

Sometimes my posts can be a little illegible since I rarely bother explaining the finer details of the stuff happening in my life. But oh well, whatever la hor? Haha