2am thoughts

Browsed through Instagram today and saw familiar faces, and I think to myself about how ironic life sometimes can be, one moment a person that's feared by others can suddenly have their lives sink into chaos the next. It's so sad watching people you know fall into certain depravity but hey, I guess that's what life is about right? The future is always ever so unpredictable. I can only hope mine turns out for the better cos to be honest, life is pretty good except for certain thoughts that creep into my head from time to time.

Gonna travel to HK soon for some shoot, then Hanoi and Genting afterwards. 2019 is easily the year that I travel the most thus far. Gotta try harder to save money though.

Throwback to some cringey stuff my company people were doing while we were in New Rod Fai market wahaha

Void

I feel kinda empty inside at times, and that used to bug me a lot, it still bugs me at times now, but at least I'm learning to live with this feeling of emptiness and "boredom". I'm glad my friends are still sticking it through with me though that really makes me happy :)

I love you mum and dad, thanks for catering to my nonsense demands at times :)

Kinda asking for it

Listening to sad songs to make yourself sadder is such a stupid idea hahaha!

Heard this Ed Sheeran song on the radio today at work that reminded me of her again cos it was the song that I used to make some silly video for her. Fuck man it made me wanna scream out loud but I couldn't cos I was at work. Spent the next few hours thinking about miserable thoughts.

I can't bring myself to block her on social media, I'm not strong enough, nor do I hate her. So there's really no reason to do so, right?

No one gets through life unscathed.

Going to Thailand with this bunch in less than 10 hours. 

Maybe we'll never get better.

Every time I see a wholesome meme or picture that I used to be able to relate to, or have that special someone to share it with, it makes me want to scream out of frustration. I am so fucking angry and sad and I don't know how to deal with it because she ain't coming back and there's nowhere for me to rant but here.

Fuck why she gotta be like that. Why can't love just be love? Fuck this feeling of helplessness la.

At least I still have a loving family, that counts for something I guess.