Kinda miserable

This past week has been pretty unbearable, my yearning for Shermane was so strong that it's starting to have this weird tight feeling in my chest whenever I think about her. I know it's pathetic, but I really really love her, and I don't know if I will ever get better, this one is different from my other exes, and to be honest, I just don't want to believe that she really chose to leave me because it was more convenient for her to use her single status for her upcoming projects. Was our love really just that cheap? I really feel discarded and it's killing me to doubt everything that we have ever been through. Are humans really able to just have a change of mind that easily? Fuck this. At least I'm getting better at keeping shit to myself at work so that's great.

Will I ever find someone that can relate to me the same way? I don't even really wanna go looking though. I am so fucked.