Reflection.

Sometimes I lie on my bed and I start to reflect on the mean things i've done to others when I was younger. Ohh such foolishness..

Imagine if I was more tolerant and kinder to others, I'd be such an awesome guy by now. Guess I can only remind myself to not repeat my stupid antics again now that I'm older huh.

Forgiveness is hard to come by man. I need to learn to have a bigger heart. After all even till today I can't seem to be able to draw a line between forgiving and forgetting. Aren't those two kinda interlinked? Like would you be able to trust someone again after they've fucked you over? If not, does it really count as forgiveness? Ah fuck it i'm not wise enough to answer that yet perhaps one day when I'm older I'll come back here and update this post with what I've learnt.

But on a side note I am deeply sickened by human beings. This survey that I have conducted till now has really showed me how fucked up some people are on the inside. When they need you they'll come to you with smiles and shit but when they don't they won't even give two fucking hoots about you. Even when you make an effort to try and reconnect most of the time they'll just ignore you because they don't have a "need" for you right now. Pretty fucking sickening right? At the end of the day. It really is imperative that we depend on ourselves. Values like friendship and the like mean little to many of us and it's making people like me who actually give a shit to start losing hope as well. Terrible right? How as we grow older we get influenced by all these disgusting behaviors around us and the most direct way to counter that is to join in and be a social parasite as well? Maybe that's why the bible says that we are all sinners but then again I might just be bitching cos I'm really fucking sick of this nonsense right now. I've never really wanted to admit it to myself but I guess I have to. It's time to really cut people loose. Just like how we are pretty much useless to each other, we might as well not stay close yknow?

Blogging is pretty cool huh! Back in those days people prolly needed a pen and a paper to even jot down their thoughts but now it's just a few presses on your magical device and viola! You've just made a journal entry! What a wonderful and scary time we are living in indeed.

Now that I think about it I haven't had BK in awhile. mm tendergrill~

I might never become someone great, or someone who's well-acclaimed by the world. But that doesn't really matter.

If I could just make the people around me happier or better off, that would be good enough for me. My own little piece of paradise hahaha.

School in 7 hours time and i'm left with 5 hours to sleep. Fml.

Random 4am rant

So its almost 4am now and i'm wide awake. Even watching youtube isn't really helping.. Fuck if this keeps up i'm going to fall asleep in class tomorrow again. Worst part is that tomorrow both lectures seem to be quite important cos the lecturers might touch on the upcoming online test or the online acct assignment.. Funny how I always get insomnia the day before my lessons. Pls god don't make me fall asleep in class :( Can't seem to be able to study properly for the past few days either. Hopefully that'll get better once classes start tomorrow or something :/

Shall go play some dota now. I actually remember falling asleep for like 10 mins before waking up to turn off my phones video cos it was too noisy. But after I turned it off I can't seem to fall back asleep #fuckedup 

I really can't wait to graduate and start "adult life" being a student is pretty slack and all but I really wanna start earning me own keep soon :( Haven't even started applying for my drivers licence yet too..

Haven't seen yongjie in ages wonder how he's doing