Love is scary

I am unable to accept that Shermane is truly gone from my life now. We used to be so happy together, but because I am no longer able to inspire her, and have habits that irks her, we are no longer an item. I guess I should have put in more effort in improving certain aspects of my life, but I guess I really didn't think much of them until it was too late, since they are habits that I would change for my girlfriend. If I was left to my own devices, I'd be pretty happy with myself.

Of course, with that being said, I wish I heeded her advice more when she nagged at me instead of hoping that Shermane would come to accept me for me. But now that's all too late. I've lost this amazing girl due to my incapabilities once again and it really really sucks. :( I guess none of us should really be too comfortable.

I feel like shit, but whenever someone asks if I'm okay, in that slight moment, I do feel a little better and I'm inclined to tell them that I am, but the truth is once that moment is gone, I start feeling like shit again.

Also, my new computer's takes 4 mins plus to render a five second video even I cleared my cache, what the heck.

Goodbye my love, I really want you back but I doubt you'd wanna