I can feel my fitness level dropping

Last year during Ippt, I was still able to get a pass with incentive. But I've really stopped exercising since then. I guess I didn't really grow fatter? But I can tell that if this keeps up, I probably am.

I should really get back to exercising soon if I wanna survive this year's Ippt. Urgh.

The buttons on my formal shirt feels like it's gonna pop out anytime soon. I kinda miss my old body.

I really wanna get employed soon so I can go on more overseas trips urgh.

Fat

Okay so I ordered mcdonalds again. Feeling kinda guilty but fuck it.

Let's just pray I get a job soon so I can finally stop exploiting my savings for fatty treats at 3am.

I miss going overseas again.

Probably too much "cringe" in one post

Chanced upon an image on Instagram that somehow reminded me of a cringey moment back when I was in army urgh. You'd think that when one gets older they'd be doing less cringworthy stuff huh? No, that cringey kid just grows older to become a larger cringey kid. And yet somehow I sometimes find myself judging my friends cringey actions online (ie, Making lame jokes/pseudo-deep quotes in an attempt to impress their online buddies). I guess I'm a hypocrite like that. I'm trying my best to be less cringey everyday though.

In a few hours time marks Shermane's final test for this semester, afterwards I guess it's time to take a breather together with her? Recently while applying for another job I had to show my employer my blog, and whoa, he really schooled me on how to write "properly". I guess I thought too highly of myself. Time to stay even more grounded now.

Am I really feeling so uncertain right now that I kinda miss the "simpler days" back in NS? Tf is wrong with me.

Tummy butterflies

After screwing up at the interview last Wednesday, I've been having butterflies in my stomach ever since; hoping day after day that they would call me back, and if they do, it is to inform me that I got the job.

Living in uncertainty is indeed a shitty feeling. And I know I don't have to subject myself to this kind of "torture" if I just have an open mind and seek other jobs. Maybe it's me being naive, thinking that if I approach something with sincerity, I would be reciprocated.

But the harsh truth is this. If you do not bring value to the company, or are seen as a liability, your concerns come second. After all, all this is transactional.

I guess at least during uni, there was a clear direction on what actions I have to take. Welcome to adulthood. 

This wednesday

Is when the HR manager from tnt said she will get back to me at. Kimberlyn offered me a sales position at her insurance company, which is a good thought although I don't know if selling insurance would be my interest or forte. Right now what I want more is to have my interview set up quickly if possible and really begin my working life.

Urgh.. so many things I wanna do but don't have the money to right now 😣

Last year was pretty great. I really hope this year will be better :)

When I get a job..

I'm gonna spend my first paycheck on good food, and take my girlfriend out for a good meal :) it's not like I'm not taking her out for "good" meals now. But when I say a good meal, I mean a really good one hahaha.

Spent another day playing citadels with nicol and yingchuan. I guess it's a day well spent since its unlikely that times like these will go on forever? Guess I just gotta be a little more optimistic and treasure what I have right now. Time. :)

Wonder when I'll see this bunch again. Sigh if only they didn't drink so much. 

So HR got back to me

And informed me that she will arrange another interview with me after some profiling. I don't really know what profiling means but it's fine :)

Shermane told me that I should try to do something productive while I'm still unemployed. But I really don't know what is there to do. So I'm just making the most of my time to hang out with my friends while I have the luxury to.

I really hope I don't lose my morale should my application at TNT fail again. Job hunting is seriously mentally exhausting.

So Shermane drew a really sketchy version of me, so cute!!