I have always believed in karma(Did i spell this correctly?), and now i believe in it even more.. Karma karma.. Things you do, good or bad, always comes back to you huh. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, its almost impossible to avoid the outcome. I will continue working hard. Move at my pace, but however, my heart just keeps rushing me, I dont wanna turn into some scary, irritating motherfucker, thats the last thing I'd want to become in your impression. Really.
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my head, saying, if you see this girl, will you tell her where I am?
I've realised something, nowadays whenever I blog about something, its mostly due to the fact that I cant fall asleep. Which sucks cos I wish I could be like some people, or maybe, like how I used to be, fall asleep as and when I want to. Now its just plain hard. Its Karma I tell ya, Karma.
I see people around me experiencing similar pain as well as me, some for lost love, some for love which cannot be obtained, and some for those really really complicated cases. Nonetheless, pain is pain. I wouldnt say I'm experiencing pain ah, But its just this really shag feeling you have inside of you, wanting to push forward but dont know how and not willing to back out now. Stuck in the middle, like how when you eat a super spicy mega mcspicy and couldnt take the heat halfway and ran out of water, not knowing wanting to throw it away cos it'd be a waste. If only it could be as simple as just forcing yourself to finish that MegaMcSpicy..
I'm amazed at myself for once, I have always been the kind who gets going when the going gets tough. But not this time, perhaps this is because this is more important that anything I've came by so far? If only it was like a sport where you can improve and "level up" if you just put in enough efforts. This isn't. This is about two person. Which sucks.
Ranting ranting ranting is all I could do. To people when they're available and to this little online diary when everyone's asleep. Just randomly wondering, if another "me" was ranting to me about this kind of shit everyday, I would probably be ignoring him and start changing topics. I wish I had a chance to show you just how much I would treasure you really. Its impossible for you though. And I guess that just cant be forced sometimes cos I know how it feels to not be able to "reciprocate" a person's feelings, no matter how much they did for you.
Whoever(Most probably nobody) is reading this, mark my words, if one day you find someone who loves you just as much as you love him/her, never ever let em go. Cos you really dont know how hard it just is to find two person who are on the same "frequency" as each other. Harder than finding a needle in a haystack I tell ya. *whistles at my own command of english*
I-cant-get-the-fuck-over-you.
I'm happy you're not going to Cambodia though, cos it really sounds lik a dangerous and tedious place to be, singapore's good okay! Boring at times but ah la, you made the right choice bimbo! =D
Time check: Close to 3am. Oh, look how much I've failed in "sleeping early", well, its morning how anyway, so I guess sleeping now might just count as "sleeping early"?
Have Global Citizenship on tomorrow. Looking forward to crapping lots lots with those people, I hope I manage to tire myself out tomorrow! So i can finally have a good night's rest. :) God I need some liqour to make myself fall asleep man seriously.
Are you sleeping soundly now? Good. :)
Shall I get you a really really big soft toy from Hainan? You already have so many but none from me. :( Would make-up do? Wow, I'm so gonna drink my life away when I'm at Hainan so that I wont have the temptation to go crazy and call you from overseas mann~
BE MINE!!!! I'm going crazyyyy!!! Help help help!!!
Note to self: Buy sensodyne for her so that she can eat ice cream with me! :D
Adp from the future here! It's 2016 now and my main reason for blogging it still mostly due to insomnia. I actually can't remember who I was referring to in this blog post which probably meant that this isn't as important as it sounds? Hahaha. Global Citizenship was really fun though! Had an awesome time at Hainan, till today I still sometimes look back and think of the simpler days back in poly/Hainan.
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