I forget that almost everyone out there is out for themselves, and that sometimes just because you hold them to a certain level of regard, they might not have the same for you. Sometimes you just get so bloody comfortable that you forget that there are actually boundaries that should not be crossed.
I might not be a good judge of people but I think I'm alert enough to know what kind of person some people are. Perhaps it's just me reading too much into things. But there are some actions that really gets on my nerves.
Perhaps I've been too kind. Perhaps apart from cracking the occasional jokes here and there, I'm actually treating the people around me too well, and now it's coming back to fucking bite me in the fucking rear. Maybe Melvin was really right all along, there is always a giver and a taker in every relationship.
I'm not going to become a taker. But I sure as help am pretty sick of giving all the time. There is always a third option when it comes to relationships like this, and that is to cut it off entirely. It might not be an immediate thing, but I guess I'll just have to do it slowly and steadily.
In the end, it really is true. We have to all be strong to a certain extent to fend for ourselves, only then can we even afford to have the luxury of taking care of the ones around you; but even when you do, it might not mean that you won't be treated like a fucking moron.
It's really sad yea? But then again, maybe now I'll finally have some proper time for myself, I guess my main motivation most of the time is really just fueled by anger. Well, whatever works I guess?
Apart from improving myself, I really gotta start focusing on my health as well if I intend to even live half the lifespan of my granny's. Love ya ahma! Xoxo
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