What does it mean to live and not just survive? I guess that probably means living each day to the fullest as happy as you can with the things and people that you care about? That sounds about right no? Being able to experience happiness each and every day.
Sigh.. But wouldn't it be selfish if the person you care about doesn't have the time for you and yet you still really want to spend time with them? I mean everyone needs their own "me" time from time to time but im just kinda afraid that this "me" time would last forever yknow? What if I'm just not interesting enough to go back to? I'm sorta boring and whiny and all too anyway.. Like i guess it kinda sucks to want to "live" when you're not strong enough yourself.
Isn't it stupid how we shut the people who care about us just so we can try to get the attention of those who don't give us enough? It's really fucking sad really but is that human nature? Or am I just too young and dumb to appreciate things I already have. Am I allowed to appreciate things that I already have while striving for more? Then again, there's also the chance of the person being "bored out" after you start reciprocating I guess? Humans are such fickle creatures at times I swear.
I am really really afraid one day I might just bore you out. Or in another words, becoming obsolete in your life. I mean who's stupid enough to keep something that's useless to them and they don't care for in their lives right? Who has time for that kinda charity? Well, when that happens it'll really be a huge pity I guess.
In my opinion, humans are constantly selfishly seeking for more yknow? How is someone like me who is always so easily contented going to even connect with a fellow human being and "stay stagnant together"? Is it really so wrong to not yearn for more? (Disclaimer: I'm not an Anthropologist i'm just stating my POV which is probably wrong sigh..)
Recently I've been thanking people for the smallest things they do because I'm trying to become a better person and blah blah, but somehow sometimes it seems that showing appreciation is almost tantamount to showing your weakness at times. It's like they start thinking I need them in their lives yknow? Should I be more of a jerk then? Just a passing thought.
Man I'm just a new guy, what's the best course of action for a guy like me cmon.
Gotta cut down on smoking though, Walter's cancer is scaring the shit outta me :(
Walter is pretty darn cool though I doubt I'd ever be cut out for a life of crime now that I think about it.
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| Cmon man its getting harder and harder to picture what would luffy do nowadays. I heard that Oda is recently ill too.. Please get well soon!! |
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