I like my curly hair

So glad to have my hair permed in taiwan man. It gets pretty boring having straight hair on head for the past 25 years. But whoa, time kinda flies eh? I'm already 25. This blog was prolly created when i was like 16?

I'm happy that there's a place for me to air out my thoughts though.

My face is honestly getting fatter sia fml

I think some people will always remain trashy af.

Not that its entirely a bad thing to be "trashy", but its a problem when you try to impose your lifestyle onto others, and those who follow are your friends and those who didn't comply "aren't there for you". But that's how everyone chooses their friends anyway right? So who am I to judge. Birds of a feather flock together.

Until the cat comes.

On a totally unrelated note, I'm definitely not spending my new years eve with another scumbag unrelated to the post above.

Hearthstone community is pretty helpful!

I've been browsing the hearthstone forums during my free time, and my impression before yesterday was that there were people full of complaints out there about tiniest stuff. That impression changed when I asked for advice on the game and was actually given a ton of good tips. I guess Blizzard's gaming community is in fact nowhere near as toxic as Dota huh? But that's just my personal opinion.

Still considering between getting my driver's license replaced today or just chilling in the office. I think I'll probably choose the latter since I'm pretty darn lazy.

Work computer having problems for the past 30 minutes

This is ridiculous. If my boss sees that Im not online she might think im late for work or something.

Suddenly had some flashbacks of my friends in bedok 85. Its interesting how everyone's lives have changed in the span of eight years (17-25). I mean of course its obvious that things will be different, but its interesting to behold.

Pretty glad that I'm detoxing myself of rotten people in my life, this might mean that my circle is smaller but at least its one that I feel comfortable being in.

This post is a little random, i know.

Never rely on others

Two years ago, i remember once asking my friend for advice on how to confess to a girl I like (The girl wasn't interested though). This bugger gave me a ton of theories and shit and even offered to confess via text on my behalf.

Things went south pretty fucking quickly as he soon typed in shit like "please give me a chance I'll make you happy." It was at that moment i realized that my dear friend had no idea on what he was doing but he had committed too much already to have it "not work" now as that would mean that his reputation as a "smooth talker/charming guy" would drop or something. Of course in the end, i did not get the girl. She probably thought i was some kind of freak as well thanks to the way my pal was texting her with my phone.

So all in all, there are some people who are all bark and no bite, and would gladly balloon themselves up a just to be liked a little more. Relying on yourself from the start would've likely been waaayyyyyyy better.

But personally, i too regret all the cringey things I've done in the past. Oh well..

Long journey ahead

It's been ages since I've travelled any further than town area. (Not counting overseas trips.)

About to make my way over to woodlands now to celebrate christmas with the pretty lady and her family. Nose is a little runny right now but im sure it'll be an awesome day today anyway!

Oh mah lawd i have so many graduation photos in my phone

May I'll get fitter in 2018

So im most likely gonna be doing 20 rts next year due to me being unable to clear my stuff this year. Which is fine I guess? I have been stuffing my face full of unhealthy food for a super long time now and its bound to happen. Maybe RT might not be such a bad thing after all man. After all, I'll be likely doing these with my friends so it'll be kinda fun hahaha!

Bojack horseman is pretty depressing

Mureum's death

After rereading hunter x hunter once more, i noticed a lot of things that I wasn't able to pick up the first time. The Chimera Ant arc is so splendidly well done i think I've ever seen any other manga just like it! This arc was able to turn a typical adventure comic into something that is deeply on a emotional and psychological level at the same time. I'm really impressed at how the author is able to allow me to empathize with even the villians and in the end, feel a little torn on who to root for.

Truly a goddamn manga masterpiece if only the author didn't go on so many hiatuses.

I feel like there's still a long way for me to go before i can call myself a full fledged adult. But oh well! Baby steps i suppose.

My opinion on hearthstone so far

I'v opened more than 70 packs of kobolds and catacombs packs now but I'm still lacking so many core cards. I guess this game really is pay to win? Or unless you're a super patient guy who doesn't mind grinding out quests for a whole year straight. Which us why I've been doing for two months now.

Tomorrow is finally friday man. And theres less than four hours till i finally knock off. I can do this!

Happy birthday mum i love you!

Lunch

After working for more than 9 months here, I've finally decided to join my colleagues for lunch at work. It's actually pretty fun! I kinda still wanna be a ghost at work but I think its good to socialise a little too at times i guess? 

Had a weird "nightmare" that my curly hair was slowly turning straight again. Oh how horrifying. Actually overslept cos of that goddamn dream too.

Tomorrow is my mum's birthday! Probably gonna treat her to a good meal or something huehue.

And thus begins another day

And thus begins a new day.
Another grind, regardless the pace.
What's my purpose here? Some say.
To achieve, to belong, or to just save face?
I look around and I see my peers, filled with an assortment of fears:
Will I die alone? Will I one day be rich?
Will I one day own a car or still be taking grabhitch?
Will I get off my ass today and start something new?
Or continue to feel alone, disgruntled, and blue?
Will I ever be the best at anything I do?
Do I simply exist to exist in a world that is subdue or be subdued?
Is my worldview skewed? Or are these nightmares actually a reality?
Nothing truly matters. Woe is me, life is a tragedy.
When confronted with such confessions, I tell them this:
It doesn't matter if nothing matters, it doesn't matter: your quarter-life crisis.
If you think your life doesn't have meaning, give it one.
If you are sick of bumming around, go get something done.
If you can't find anyone to love, then work on yourself.
Read books, get a job, go to the gym, become a bombshell.
And if those don't work, then try being kinder.
Go brighten lives up in a world full of eyeliners and cider.
Remember that if you died right now, the people around you might grieve.
Tomorrow comes, we'll still proceed with our daily routine. Stop being naive.
You don't matter, I don't matter, we don't matter. So what?
Go get something done, make your own meaning, show some gut.
We're all trapped in the rat race, whether you know it or not.
But that doesn't matter to me as well, what matters is that I fought.
I fight for things that I value and that gives meaning to my life.
At the end of the day its worth all the drudgery and strifes.
So while its okay to ponder about existential subjects.
Don't stop learning, loving, and moving; and you'll have my respect.

Reservist next June. Fuk.

What does my future hold?

I'm at this point in life where everything feels a little uncertain and there is some sort of urgency creeping up just around the corner. Maybe this slight stress is self-induced. But knowing how good I am at "letting loose", i guess this is a pretty good thing?

The taiwan trip made me learnt that my parents can get pretty annoying at times, i love them a lot but it kinda makes me think what kind of parent do I want to be in the future. I think I'll be the kind that lets my kid does what they want and make mistakes, and only rein them in when they are being an annoyance to me or the public. (Parents who let their kids be nuisances in public should really get slapped with a brick.). But who knows right? I doubt I'll become a parent anytime soon and I guess thats a good thing?

Updated my ig photo recently.

My girlfriend takes good photos

National Service can be a huge burden on Singaporean men to be honest. Its not enough that they took away two years of our lives, we still gotta book back in yearly for a week or more and also do some ippt even as we advance onto our next phase of life. It's a shame that it can't be avoided though since our country is small and yada yada. Oh well, just gotta suck it up and go through the damn motion i suppose.

If i get reemployed after March my probation period would likely clash with my reservist, leaving to a week's worth of lost income. Maggie's company hasn't gotten back to me as well although somehow, I'm not really worried. Weird..

Miss taiwan a little already hahah

Really hope to work for blizzard someday

But i doubt I'd have the talent though man. They probably hire only the most talented ones man. If i worked for blizzard, I'd be so happy to develop some overwatch lores with them. But ah, this will probably forever be only a dream.

Time for some overwatch with the pretty girlfriend!!

Minimal presence

One thing I like about my current job right now is how little impact I have on the company. No I'm serious, this isn't sarcasm or any of that sort!

Came back from a 4-day leave and was greeted with minimal workload, i feel pretty glad to have this slow-paced workload in all honesty. I do kinda miss the office though, although I'm sure most of the people here probably didn't even notice me gone, which is legitimately fine. :)

Kinda miss meeting these peeps man.

A very fufiling trip

Taiwan was super fun! Im blogging this in advance on the plane cos its too uncomfortable to sleep and there's no internet as well. But oh well, what can i expect from a budget airline right? I need to pee too but I don't wanna trouble the guy next to me who had to move out of his seat for Shermane to go to the washroom just now already.

Kinda looking forward to going back to work and playing hearthstone hahahha!! Its weird I know.

Shermane is prolly gonna have a ball of a time editing a taiwan video once she's home, so I guess I got that to look forward to? On the other hand, I'm not even done editing mine for her which has already taken almost a year. Its basically an abandoned project right now oh well hahaha.

Didn't get any gifts for my friends oh well.

Swollen lymph nodes again.

Hunter x hunter is pretty interesting although at times there can be too many different characters at once. Can't believe i actually went to reread an old classic man.

My throat is inflammed again and im suspecting that its due to me smoking or eating too much heaty food. I think its time to eat clean again soon man. For the sake of my health and my wallet. I fucking hate this. Why cant the human body just consume whatever the fuck it wants to consume?

The wait time yesterday at the clinic was fucking horrible as well. The doctors are nice but honestly, it took more than two fucking hours to get me to even consult with them and my throat was hurting the whole goddamn time. Then again, its not like its any better if you're at the hospital. The wait there used to take around 4 hours per visit and easily three times more expensive than your typical clinic. So i guess unless you're unconscious or something there is really no good place to get quick medical service.

Feel quite bad to be on MC when im flying off this weekend as well. But what choice do i have :(

I'm hungry but I can't find a tasty alternative to fast food

Seriously. The local food around here are so bloody fekkin expensive man. It almost feels like the only way to get value for dollar is to continue stuffing my face with the same shit over and over haha.

Maybe ill try the korean fries later on opppsite my office. I sounds pretty awesome.

Less than 4 days to go till Taiwan with this pretty thang!! 

Lazy

Recently I've been pretty lazy i gotta admit. I guess life is just a little too comfy and i nevet even realized it man. I am really thankful for everything I have though. Really.

Theres only 4.5 work week to go before I embark on my Taiwan trip. Its gonna be glorious!!

Still haven't had the time to get a paper wallet for Nicol yet. Oh well he's busy anws.

Why do fridays always feel so slow?

Im serious, why do fridays feel so slow? Its like every other day i breezed through work like its nothing but fridays just feels so goddamn dreadful. Weird. Maybe its because the weekends are just that close hmm?

Meeting Justin Jon Lydia and Shermane later for some minds cafe. It's less than 4 hours till i knock off but somehow it just feels super fekin boring man.

Can't wait to get to Taiwan man. I need a break.

Wow

I must have fucked up somewhere at work. My boss is being more stringent on me and my timesheet for the past month. But i guess as long as their request is reasonable it's fine.

I guess this is what happens when you dont communicate often with your managers. They get distrustful of you and this often leads to awkward actions being set in place. The weirdest thing is, i aint done nothing wrong although i had so many chances to.

The situation at office is getting awkward man.

Today is officially girlfriend's birthday! Woo!!

Just got a haircut

I wish i could leave my hair longer till taiwan but sadly I had to cut my hair today. Regardless, it's thursday tomorrow!! I guess time really flies huh. I am having mixed feelings for my interview tomorrow. Kinda wanna stay at bugis but at the same time I guess i have to look out for myself. Everyone is too busy to care about my contract right now, so i guess I'll just have to look for another job.

I really am gonna miss this place though.

Tomorrow is the pretty lady's birthday!! Although we celebrated in advance already on monday hahaha.

Lethargic

Pretty glad its Thursday, and also pretty glad that I'll be going for my ENT appointment next week.

I like coming to work, but recently it feels a little too cumbersome at times. I hope its normal to feel this way. I miss waking up and going to sleep as and when i please. Too bad that wouldn't work cos i wouldn't get paid otherwise.

Such a pity that life isn't a bed of roses eh?

Neck pain after smoking

Recently i seem to be having a lot of ailments. Through the weekends till today, my neck seems to slightly ache/have a burning sensation whenever I smoke. I wonder if its because of my typical sitting/sleeping position or if its truly attributed to smokin. Maybe this can be the motivation i need to cut down though.

I've only had three sticks today so far, i guess thats a good sign? Neck still pretty bothersome though maybe i should just ignore the pain instead of being paranoid.

Btw the elfster secret santa app is totally not user friendly at all. I feel bad for asking shermane to download this crap but oh well.

Another week down

And another week closer to taiwan! Honestly I'm pretty hyped to travel there although im pretty sure 90% of my friends have already been there before.

Currently waiting for new tasks to be assigned to be so today has pretty chill day. Almost too chilled i believe. And hearthstone's quest isn't out yet for another 20 minutes or so. I saw on the forums that you're actually able to reroll your daily quests. I wonder how that works hmm..

Oh yeah! Maggie offered to get me into Qoo10 when my contract ends. The notion of actually putting my degree to use and working at a nearer location is pretty darn tempting. Afterall my office is honestly taking too long to get back to me about converting me to perm or even extending my contracts. Not looking forward to the OTs though. Hope my pay will at least be decent.

Feeling a little pain on the right side of my throat. Probably ate some bad meat at burger kings (bugis street) just now. Can't believe i puked my food out. Should i die in the next few days, please take note of this blogpost.

Hahaha my mum is so cute. I'm glad Shermane and her get along well!

Wow its Thursday already

This week has passed by pretty quickly, and I'm pretty glad it did. Recently spoke to my neighbour on the commute about the how young adults should seize opportunities and exit their comfort zone. And while i agree with that, i somehow feel that what i truly want is to strike a real balance doing what I need vs what I want. While some might view success as maybe "becoming a successful entrepreneur", or "working at a top firm within an industry",i feel like i shouldn't neglect the so-called "smaller things" in life like time with loved ones or even going overseas to explore the world. Those are the things that truly give me meaning I suppose.

Kinda regret cutting my hair too short in batam. I hope it doesn't affect how my afro will turn out :(

Opening a cold one

For two consecutive weeks I've been having beer during lunchtime. Maybe Melvin was right, i am turning into a yupi.

After seven months, my relationship with my managers is pretty weird. I find myself avoiding eye contact with them at times. I wonder if that's my fault hahaha. I probably shouldn't have associated myself with that retard in the beginning.

So glad Lam is into hearthstone now! Yet another buddy mwahaha!!

Dad's birthday just recently passed. I'm glad everyone is fairly healthy :)

I like my job but I think i need a break

Shermane seems to be a little stressed out todah. She's not really the type that likes to have timings to have stuff done as its too much pressure. I guess i was a little like her too back when I was younger. I wonder what changed hmm..

Kinda glad to have visited my grandma last saturday. Her place is pretty awesome hahaha!

Kobolds and Catacombs

I'm so addicted to hearthstone nowadays. Although i know i probably joined the party a little too late, i find myself pretty immersed in the entire game despite having a shitty deck still. (I've been playing for like 3 weeks now?)

Kinda worried that i might not have the time to clear my quests when I'm on my vacation. Maybe the fire in me might be extinguished by then. But who knows right?

It's hj, gena and Cynthia's birthday soon but we still haven't planned shit. I feel pretty bad cos hj has been really good to everyone. She deserves a good birthday man.

My friend has the weirdest friends.

So Mel just invited me for drinking with a conpulsive liar, a gossipmonger, and some other friends. I'm glad he's asking me out but honestly im curious as to why he's unfazed with hanging out with such cancerous people. I wish i could go just so I can put some people in their fucking place. But nah, going home and taking a dump and sleeping early sounds like a way better option.

So, I'm going to the beach tomorrow with this nerd hohoho! Can't wait!

No rest for the un-weary

The title makes sense right? For those who can't even catch a break when they're swamped daily, who am I to even think about resting when my workload is fairly light?

Getting a little turned off by my office culture though, although most of it is due of my own undoings, i still feel a little sian. :/ Maybe that's why I'm looking forward to taiwan so much even though i don't deserve a break hahaha.

Prolly gonna go have some salted egg chicken with Lam in the next hour, i wonder whats my career gonna be like one year from now hmm..

Dad got a new job recently. Hope he'll be happy there!

Spending money online

The reason why I played so much online games at the beginning was to save moneyas gaming costs literally $0 (excluding your electricity and data bills which you would normally pay for anyway). But recently, i find myself spending little by little on "pixels" and stuff. And i feel that it might be a slippery slope towards reckless spending online. I guess i gotta have more discipline man.

On the other hand, its Monday and somehow I'm not exactly feeling the most productive today. Cant wait for the day to end so i can go home and lie on my bed. (Maybe after a little bit of dota with pp, we'll see)

Made this for my girlfriend months ago, maybe one of these days I'll upload her remade version!

Why blizzard servers so wonky :(

I've been giving in a lot to my inhibitions lately, buying lootboxes, ordering late night macdelivery; i guess i often justify it with me saying that "i do what i want to do" but honestly sometimes these impulse purchases don't even feel that fufiling (im talkin about the mcdelivery). On the other hand, i genuinely want to save money but i am only left with $100 to spend if i dont want to burst my budget. I really hope this month would end soon. Really wanna get away to taiwan now  especially after Im finally done with planning all the itinerary wahaha!!

Cant wait to get home today n overwatch!!

Insomnia my old friend

For the first time in a long time, I am finally again unable to sleep at a regular timing. I guess its kinda my fault that I decided to order McDonalds at such a late time cos i had some munchies. And to be entirely honest i don't even feel that hungry anymore. Shermane is most probably asleep by now? And im stuck at the door waiting for my food to come before i could bring it into my room for a super early "breakfast".

This really brings me back to the old days during my last semester in RMIT where i spent sleepless nights not because uni was tough, but because my sleeping habits were just irregular as heck. I really hope this doesn't become a habit man. I really rather be sleeping early and waking early like a normal, functioning human being. Well too bad right? I really hope i can be asleep in the next hour though if not there's probably really gonna be hell to pay tomorroe at work. Guess I'll have to cancel working out with Shaz tomorrow seeing that im probably only gonna be asleep for four hours or less. Fuck me and my stupid decisions.

Really miss the days back in secondary school where i could fall asleep on a whim. Please let my macs come soon? Also i forgot to post this on sunday. This is a sunday post lolol.

Slow ass day

For some reason, today feels like a really slow ass day. I find myself looking at the clock incessantly for the time to pass, it's not like i have a lot to do once i am home anyway though. Shall not continue posting about my dream today cos i am really not feeling it.

Oh well, we least its gonna be friday tomorrow and I get to go home 30 minutes earlier than any other day! So i guess i got that to look forward to hahaha. Girlfriend has been having a pretty shit week too, hopefully her computer doesnt give her any further problems when we're gaming later.

Having reservist when you're working full time is pretty fun i guess hahaha.

Weird vivid dream (part 3)

I was a little offended by what Mel said, so i asked him to give me an example of when i was acting impulsively. He mentioned "You remember the time we went to that abandoned reservior?" Suddenly, memories of the reservior started coming in even though i was dreaming. It felt so real, I've never actually dreamt up of a memory before that felt like a real thing, the group of people on skateboards skating on the huge pipes, locked doors, etc. All these never actually happened in real life of course, but damn. Those memories were creepy as fuck.

Basically instead of skating like the other "cool rebels" were doing, me and mel decided to explore the reservior, there was an abandoned office-esque building next to it, and somehow we managed to find an unlocked door at their basement carpark or something. (It had a slope). Inside, the place was dark and musty, and we faced our next locked door soonafter without finding much "treasures" except for dust and dirty pieces of metal on the floor. One of us in my "memory" kicked the door down or something and we took a few stairs upwards, not really finding anything of interest. Eventually we reached a deadend, the "stairs" led us to a tiny corridoor with a room and at the bottom suddenly we could hear someone opening the door towards the stairs accompanied by the sound of adults muttering. It didn't seem like it was the police, or any of the skater kids that snuck in a little after us. It almost felt like whoever was a few levels below us at the staircase either works or resides here in this abandoned building next to the reservior.

Cant wait for my next getaway at taiwan with her and the family!

Weird vivid dream (part 2)

Since it's been more than 24 hours now, I'm pretty sure i forgotten some parts of my dream

Anyway, in the next "scene", me Yun Jia and Melvin were in some sort of weird martial arts uniform in a small outdoor badminton court. I asked Yun Jia where Nicol was, she said that he was practising alone in the toilet because hes supposed to be at work right now and does not want to be noticed. (What?) And so the three of us did some exercises and stuff although i cannot remember for the life of me what exactly were we practising for. Suddenly mel asked me "So are you ready for the fight tomorrow?" It was at that moment i "remembered" that i got challenged to a fight by some huge guy at school (idk which) tomorrow. "Well i dont know, maybe the big guy didn't mean what he said when he wanted to fight me." I replied. Mel laughed at that notion and mocked that I always do things without thinking of the consequences.

Well im too lazy to write the rest already. Its pretty amazing how Im able to rememer so much of my dream though! Some parts feel so real.

Weird vivid dream i had (part 1)

I was driving down the road near my house area when suddenly a trishaw cut my lane (lol?), knowing that braking wasn't enough, i swerves into the next lane and attempted to brake. Gently bumping into a motorbike's rear. I got off the car to check for damages, there was none although the rider said that there were some paint scratches. I feel like the paint scratches were already present before i even bumped into him but I said "ok I'll transfer you $300 bucks for your paint job.". Suddenly, Nicol and Yun Jia stopped beside me in their bikes, and asked me what happened. I explained to them briefly and told them: "We should get going."

There's so much more to this dream and it gets even weirder afterwards. But right now im just so lazy to write and i'd rather be reading "Tokyo Ghoul". So this'll end here for today :)

Fuck slow walkers

I hate the part of me that is too courteous at times. Taking the commute during weekdays can be bloody dreadful at times. Oh well, too bad im broke af yea?

Recently turned down a job at Teleconnect because i thought I might have more prospect at my current job, i guess only time will tell now huh. Although oddly enough im a little socially inept at work for some weird reason. I literally just asked a guy who held the lift for me if he held the lift for me recently. What the hell? Really felt like burying my head into a hole right there n then.

But on the other hand, i think i need to control my temper. Im so irritable recently.

Haven't met Mr Sherman in a while too. Ah im too swamped nowadays anyway

I think im working out with Shaz today

But im not sure, what if he forgets? I guess it'll be good too since i can just go to sleep peacefully tonight haha. Today is probably the sleepiest I've been this week!  I notice that my blog has kinda gotten a little more boring nowadays since I'm doing waaaayyy less reflections. But meh whatever, I'm not a philisopher.

Kinda hungry now since i haven't eaten breakfast or anything since 7pm yesterday. Probably gonna go for another subway feast later with lam mwahah. Or maybe I'll go for kfc? I don't know hmm..

One of my colleague is leaving today too, idk if i should get him a farewell gift yet, feeling kinda lazy to get anything.

Watched kingsmen 2 yesterday with the lady, it was pretty good i'd say haha.

Halloween is almost here!

But just like any other year, I'll probably be doing nothing but staying home and playing on my computer hahaha. The notion of dressing up sounds pretty fun but honestly there's really nowhere to go apart from clubbing n shit. Unless somehow my company decides to organise a halloween party which I highly doubt so hahahha!

Anyway today is the the 20th month that me n shermane has been together! Time flies pretty quickly eh?

Somehow i feel like my english is getting worse :(

Maybe i should change telco

Its weird to me how apps lile facebook and instagram drain more data than your online mobile games. Although i kinda get it since loading new images n videos probably meant that the phone is downloading more new content than your everyday app, still cant reallt get over it though. Its like using social media on the commute just isnt viable anymore if you have a 5gb plan phone.

Anyway, lets hope monday passes quickly!!

I've graduated but i still don't really feel like an adult at times hahaha

Today feels like a fast day

And it'll probably pass by even faster once im done with my lunch! Waiting for Lam right now to be done with his shit so we can go for some cheap subway. :)

Meeting the peeps to drink tonight too! I was so excited for it days ago but now i feel nothing oddly haha.

Okay! In the midst of posting this Lam is finally ready to lunch! Can't wait to see my girlfriend later on mwahaha!

Hope next year's gvf will be at genting too!!

Idiocracy is like a diesease

Thank god its going to off itself by the end of this week. Talking to this creature is cancerous af.

Turns out green tea might be the remedy for helping me to quit smoking. But honestly maybr i should stop blogging so often, technology nowadays is pretty scary in the sense that like I heard it can even predict your next moves on a daily basis should you feed it enough information. Wow.

Meeting some of these peeps later to celebrate Liangyi's birthdat!

Kinda missing good vibes festival

Cant believe i gotta wait about a year for the next good vibes festival, the withdrawals are real man. :(

I wish i could fast forward through time and quickly get to my next overseas trip hahaha. I kinda understand now why do adults like traveling so much.

Anyway, 7 more hours till i knock off today lo!

My friend is 90% confirmed trans (i think?)

I guess its pretty sad when you feel that your entire country is against your "kind", calling it cancer island and all. It sucks when you're unable to be who you want to be without fear of people not "accepting you for who you are".

The truth is, people who wont accept you for who you are exists everywhere. You can be the best person in the world and humans will still find a way to express their disdain for you. So the real question shouldn't be "Where can i go to find acceptance?" but rather "Why should i give a fuck whether you accept me or not?".

My OC back in NS used to encourage us to adopt a "blame yourself first" attitude. Although i wasn't his favourite trooper, i strongly concur with this particular "principle". The "blame yourself" attitude basically asks every individual to really reflect on why did this shit happen and what can they as an individual do to make sure the same problem does not arise again. Since truly, at the end of the day, the only thing you can truly be in control of is your own actions & thoughts. For example, if the people around me do not approve of my sexuality, instead of calling them sexists and kicking up a fuss blaming everyone for not accepting you, "blame" yourself for even giving a fuck about what they think. Toxicity exists at every corner, if you think you can beat it by calling them names, think again. Let go of your need to be acknowledged, at the end of the day, we are only answerable to our own happiness and if you let other's acknowledgement determine your level of happiness, you're not that different from the low-self esteem girls on instagram comparing followers & likes to feel a little better about themselves.

Now, my friend would likely never see this blogpost (which is for the better i guess?), but I'd like this post to remain here. It probably can serve as a good reminder in the future should i encounter shit and start blaming everyone around me.

Won't be seeing my girlfriend till the weekends. 3 more days to go!!

Monday

Slow day at work today. I must say the past weekend felt oddly long for some reason, I guess i really had a good rest huh!

Supposed to go talk to my HR soon about me wanting to become perm or extend my contract here in IE, but somehow I don't really wanna do it today. Shaz is coming over to find me during lunchtime later too, guess today will pass a little faster eh?

Im so lucky to have found you. <3 p="">

Drinking Roulette

Shermane recently won this "Drinking Roulette Game" at her schools fair and gave it to me, been so excited to try it out but sadly its kinda hard to gather everyone for drinks nowadays hahaha. Lam suggested we try the roulette with jellybeans first on wednesday though but i dont know who to invite hahaha.

Only 45 mins more to my next smoke break fuck yes.

Jog with girlfriend on saturday?

Every week when Shermane comes over, I'd ask her if she was keen to jog. She would bring her running shoes over, but more often than not we just end up chilling at home the whole day hahaha!

Recently shermane has been pretty upset too cos of her broken laptop and sick body. Shes been waking up out of thr blue due to shortness of breath and all the doctor could advice her was that she should try sleeping on the side.. Im kinda worried for her. :( i wish there was sth more i could've done

Cant seem to upload any pics on blogger nowadays, so heres a video instead hahaha! 

I've always remembered Tokyo as Tokoyo

Is this like the mandela effect or something? Its so odd.. Too bad my blog doesnt have much traffic so i doubt anyone will let me know hahaha.

In other news, im down with some sort of ear infection since yesterday 5pm. I wonder if its my digging my ear too hard or is my body too heaty nowadays? Either way, i really wanna recover soon man. Falling sick feels pretty shitty. Gonna at least put it on record here that my ear has had an infection since 5/9/17 incase sth bad happens later on hahah

Kinda miss going overseas although its only been 3 days since batam haha. I need to earn more money!!

Just came back from Batam

Had a 6 hour sleep before heading fornwork today due to my insomnia. Im so glad work is slow-paced today although I have meeting later.

Today also happens to be mine and Shermane's 19th month together! I know its pretty lame to celebrate every month but it makes me happy that at least we date a little even till now. Time really flies huh! Hope september will be good to me though. Really wanna save even more money if i can.

Thanks for bearing with me for this long you silly thing!

My dad might be starting work soon

But his job will be on the opposite of the island. Pretty crazy stuff. He says its because he feels that im not really stable at my job yet, which he is kinda correct about uh seeing that so far I still have a timer on my employment. Pretty scary stuff, gonna talk to Miki soon about my job's future soon. Whats the worst that could happen am i right?

Tomorrow will be leaving work early wahaha! Hope i wont be too busy today. Would really hate to do OT this week haha.

In other news, I've finally graduated! Pretty interesting experience really.