Stronger

I want to get stronger.

Yes I do.

I want to get stronger in every aspect. I want to get more knowledgeble, I want to emphatise with people more. I want to become stronger in every every aspect you can ever think of. =)

I want to be stronger so that I can protect my friends, my families and my beloved. I am not lying. Something has happened today that has made me really make up my mind. I want to become stronger. So I can solve problems before it even begins. I can cheer up a person even when all hope seems lost. I want people to be without worries when they are with me. Or even better still, when they know that they have a friend like me. I want to become stronger. I really do.

Thanks to Jordan Tan for all those lame magician tricks weeks ago. You have done a great deed to me unknowingly. Thank you Jordan hiadi!! You rock! =))
~237

It'd been six years since this post and I'd like to believe that I have indeed matured a fair amount since then! The strange thing about being stronger sometimes though is that you realize that the people around you can become your "weaknesses", like if you trust them with a task and it wasn't done well you'll get handicapped one way or another or if they don't know the gravity of a situation and just babble their mouths away you'd get fucked too. It's harder than I thought to cheer someone up as even if I do succeed, it'll probably be temporarily and not actually solving their issues. Can't really remember what tricks Jordan showed me back then but I think it's pretty lame? Ah, memories do fade as you age eh? (ADP, 220514)

1st step

I managed to compile my physics notes from the TYS into a notebook from chapter 1 to 9 (skipped chapter 8 cos i think its no longer in the syllabus.)

Today I'm gonna post about something that will improve my image. =)

I've said this a couple O times, but I never knew where to start from. Now I've finally decided. Hopefully this time it'll last.

I wanna be more gentlemanly. And the first step I'm gonna take is to stop cursing vulgarities. I'll stop scolding any of those at all. Wish me luck on my 1st step to gentlemanhood.
~~~

Today was fun, I plucked off a few strands of Muzakir's leg hairs after he kicked my chair a couple O times along with Haidar LOL!! He was struggling like a mad ass after plucking off a few strands. Waaah I was laughing like crazy can? Zi tao Miss Faisah ask me shut up I still ignore her cos it was seriously too damn funny. She's a good teacher and can take insults. Like how I called her mole face today after she called me pimple face... -.-

Today I did some stupid stuff in class again. I tucked in my shirt until damn high then walked like some bigshot towards Ben's table to help him dispose of an ant cos he was afraid of it. Then I walked back to my seat like a hero. Aiyaa Its hard to describe in words la. If you were there you would be laughing like mad de la.. hard to describe in words... hard to describe in words..

Went to Techview to eat with Nicol, Ben, TianLoke, Leslie, Melvin, Alicia, Bernice and James. Some small girl winked at TianLoke today. She's kinda cute man. Keep on laughing. Sec 1 nia. TIANLOKE CHIONG AH!!!! We now call that girl Winky LOL!

I cant get enough of having fun with all those people in my class LOL. Seriously life's been really really good. If only O levels werent so close I definately would want to fool arond a little more. Darnit.. I'm seriously gonna miss them like hell. I dont mind not being 16 if only I could just spend one more, just one more year with these people. Ironic huh, cos when I first started school I really really wished it would end soon cos I didnt have any friends back then. Sec 4 life is the best time of my life in my four years of education. =))

Good times never last... Shit man. God please stop letting me feel so tired all the time in class.

Oh, for me, shit doesn't count as a vulgarity, doesnt matter what you think. =)

~237

Hahaa guess the whole "gentlemanly outlook" thing still needs a lot of improvement after all these years. I'm still cursing nowadays, not intentionally though! I remember the day I made this post though! It was indeed a fun day! God I miss Muzakir.. The Winky girl later came to be known as Jasmine and I think Nicol is friends with her now? Really miss my secondary school days with 4A :(But at least I know when I become old one day I'd still look back at these silly times and laugh to myself. Life is beautiful! (14/05/14)

Early

I'm home early today too..

Going to have a little nap later and get my ass to chemistry tuition tonight..

Hais..

Today has been really fun. 1 hour recess, 1.5 hours of free period. Truth or dare... blah blah blah. And slacking at english lessons. Mrs Yap is a really good teacher. =))

Sounds to mundane? Well, thats cos I'm too lazy to state down everything here. After school, skipped chemistry remedial cos I was too sleepy, went to eat with Les, Alicia and Val and then went home. =) Here I am now.

Few more days to O levels... Someone I thought who only know how to KaoPeiKaoBu suddenly talk sense to me!? Wow! (You know who you are... =D)

Hope that happy things will happen after the Os as well! =))

~237

Post from the future: Hi, future ADP here. So I just got done with my final prowl of my guard duty on 14 May 2014. Not really worn out but just suddenly had the feels to post something. On my way back from my prowling route I noticed the cornwire(sp?) Surrounding the vehicle shack near our company line and it can't help but bring back the dreadful memories I had when I was doing 4ntm with those first year commanders. Ah young dun ping, in the future you'll come across a certain psycho that goes by the name of Sergeant Aaron, he will make your life hell and indirectly cause you and your future girlfriend to break up. Grit your teeth and hang in there though! Life doesn't end there things do get better! Of course sometimes you do miss her a little but you know it's over and things will never be the same. Its really sad really. Life during secondary school days seem so carefree now. Anyway treasure what you have and never forget the lessons you've learnt during your hard times. Life is indeed a roller coaster ride! 

Break Fast

I broke my com fast after 3 days.. Why? Cos I felt like it. I feel that I'm "fasting" without a reason. And that wont help. This idea is pretty stupid to me anyway now that I think about it.. Like SofiaHear said. Fasting should be done on the neccessities in life. Like food. Computer is not a neccesity.

God Damn It My Spelling Sucks..

Nevermind.. I shall not elaborate. People might this that was an excuse. Know what? Think what you damn like. I dont really care. Say it in my face when I'm in a bad mood and I'll kan you so much till you wish you never knew me.

I realised after joining CHC i've changed alot. I call myself a "lawless" person. But now when I compare it to me back then. This is nothing. I'm now so damn guai can? Hais.. I have some talents that cannot be used anymore cos it'll be seen as a bad thing. Darnit.. this isnt fair.. Why did god gimme such a talent in the first place? Maybe it was Satan who gave me the talent. Nonetheless. Its mine now. =))

These week had been fun. Loved it. Cant remember all those good stuff that happened but it has really been fun. Hope the fun continues. I'm off to take a break today. Maybe i'll continue studying on monday. And I'll do a little of studying on thursday and Friday as well.

Going to watch movie with Mel, Lovell and Yingchuan later on.

I feel so chained by principles now..

An uber random post
~237

I remember in the near future from this post I actually went on an actual food fast for Sofia cos their parents were being real cunts. Can't blame them from trying to protect their daughter from a "bad person" like me huh.. Ah well. Screw whoever ordered hired those cleaners to come clean the building at such a stupid timing. It's fucking noisy over here and I can't sleep nor watch shows cos I can't hear their dialogue despite putting on a earpiece. Cranky as fuck now. Fuck army. (7/5/14)

Colours

Melvin added colours to my mundane everyday schoollife today.

GO GO MELVIN LEONG!!! YOU GOT BALLS! I SUPPORT YOU!!!

Lol shall not elaborate since its not nice to make the other party lao kui online no matter how much i dislike him..

Today I had my retest in english. Mrs Yap is a good person. I thought I would get 0 cos I didnt go for my english retest. Thanks Mrs Yap. =))

I owe someone four ice creams... -.-
~237

Ohh I remember what happened!  Melvin bitchslapped this guy called Ian Lim which I really hated back then for insulting his mother, you go Mel! Sadly Ian didn't retaliate if not I'd had a chance to jump in and get a piece of the action. Ah well good times good times. Hes about to ORD in two weeks! Proud of my Leong Leong! Can't remember who I owed 4 ice creams to though, Ahwell!  (7/5/14, ADP)

0

That's what I'm gonna get for my compre paper. Cos I didnt go for it today. Didnt feel like it. Siao hor? Prelims still liddat. Dont worry, I know I english good jiu can liao. No need to prove by results. O levels come then you call see lor. =))

Combined Science paper today was surprisingly easy. I didnt see any really hard questions. Hope I can do well for my papers this time round bah, this is the last paper for my prelims le. Monday i'm going to go back to the mundane school life. Or maybe not! Cos I'm sitting next to Haidar. =))

Cancelled my chemistry tuition today as well. Feel like really giving myself a break. I've been working harder than my normal for this week. I'm gonna give myself a small small break before continuing next monday. =)) Will study at saturday as well. Went to TM just now with Mel, Val, Alicia. Nothing much to do leh... just walkwalk cos very early... Was okay la. My legs are kinda tired now. I just wanna sleep.. Arcade people dont let me play para para cos I wearing school uniform.. Otherwise I woulda at least entertained them a little. Super long never wear school uniform go outside liao.. Bought something for Ced's birthday as well. Not planning to wrap it. nehnehnipoopoo. Its better if I dont wrap. Charmaine Theng you better remember to pay me tomorrow hor. That was my concession bus money.

As for the card... maybe I'll do it later when I'm feeling more jing shen bah? Later probably going up to cousin's house to slack and catch up a little.. I'm happy. Cos tomorrow YingChuan and Lovell is coming for cellgroup!!! =DD

To Lovell and YingChuan: Paiseh brother and sister... Sometimes really not free to pei you all. Hope you will understand and have fun tomorrow! =))

~237

This is how I kinda look like in the year 2014,  anyway I guess my motto during my secondary school days was "船到桥头自然直" huh! Like not really giving a shit about the future and just living in the present without any worries. Ah how blissful life was back then! It's been quite awhile since I've hung out with my cousins already! Miss those citadel days sigh..

What the hell..

Today was an awesomely stupid day for me. I feel so pissed at myself.. Came home super early today, but could've been earlier lor.. I feel like slapping myself..

Today had maths paper 1, lasted for two hours. The questions still okay la. I seriously need more revision and study more. Then hopefully by the end of the year I can get good marks for my maths bah. It isnt all that hard actually..

Seriously kum gong today... I made two mistakes due to my carelessness. One is concerning the exams, another is concerning me WASTING 1 HOUR++ OF MY LIFE!!! WALAO!! Feel like slapping myself sia..

RetardedPieceOfShitGoStandInACornerAndDie. -.-

There's this question in my papers, I can remember clearly. Question 14. Its not hard at all lor. Just that it required protractor to do. Which I didnt have.. So I continued doing other questions. Decided to not do that question at all. After completing the paper, I go chat with ben quietly. Shun bian ask him if he got protractor lend me.. He say no. Then I also nevermind lor.. Then suddenly, Valerie turn around as me dont talk anymore leh. So I also shun bian ask her if got protractor. She say dun have then turn infront. So I turned back to talk to ben again. Ben ask me to excercise more so I wont look so cao lao..

Suddenly, Valerie turn back and then bang my table. Then I look. My eraser shaking. I thought she secretly took my eraser then now returning back to me. Then she smile. Normal people of course think she smile cos she thinks its funny right? =.=

So didnt really care... continued chatting with ben till the papers were over. Teacher came to collect paper. Then Valerie turned back and said. "You go die la.." I was like.. huh? What I do? Then she pick up this protractor from my table and returned to Usha.. =.=

So actually, the true story was, when she banged my table. She passed me the protractor. I feel so pissed at myself sia.. Could've done question 14 and then got free marks de. But then I busy talking to Ben then never notice the almost invisible protractor cos it was transparent... Super pissed at myself now la.. If you were me you would also want to slap yourself lor..

Thanks for lending me the protractor anyways. I'll remember this favour de..

The kumgong story of ADP doesn't end here.

Went for english prelims then wanted to go back home. Alone. Know what happened? Cos I was eager to go home, i took this bus to take me to the bus stop infront so I can have more buses to take home. Namely 60 and 87. Then took this bus called 58. Missed a stop. You know where did the next stop end up? Some ulu ulu place in tampinese.. I was actually thinking lor.. "Hais.. nevermind. Miss one stop at most I walk back nia.. then end up in tampinese." WALAO EHS THEN YOU WANT ME WALK BACK FROM TAMPINESE TO BEDOK AH!? SCREW IT LA!!!

So continued taking the bus until pasir ris.. Stopped halfway to buy Mcdonalds then took this bus to pasir ris inter. Then took 17 to bedok there, then took 222 home. Noticed how many bus I took before getting home? 4. And it wasted one frickin hour of my life. At least I ate though. On the bus.. Feeling ultra retarded.. Just now when my bus passed a group of PRCS people, I was suddenly reminded of two things. Today PRCS had cellgroup. And one more thing someone told me... PRCS uniform looks like KFC!!! LOL!!!

Feeling stupid now... Cecilia's coming over to teach me maths later.. Hais.. I think i'll use com awhile then go sleep until 7 la.. Then have to start studying again le..

Stupid stupid stupid me.. I feel like shit.. I finally learnt that opportunities sometimes comes so silently and invisibly that you might not see it at first until its too late. Just like that invisible protractor that was on my table for like 5 mins.. =.=

Thanks Val.

~237

After reading this post I really feel like giving val a great big hug for being so "smart" and kind to me sia! Haven't met her in a long time already she's a funny person! I really wanna thank god for always placing awesome people by my side and helping me out in times of need uh, which is another reason why I gotta become stronger, so that one day I can reciprocate them and help them out again when they need me. (07/05/14)

Wednesday

Today's wednesday. Cecilia's down with a cold, and therefore didnt come to my house for tuition.

Had Chemistry today. Thanks to my mugging yesterday, today's paper didnt seem hard. Should have no problem passing bah. Realised theres still alot of stuff I dont know lor.. Hais.. gonna go study again later tonight bah.. Today was fun. Chemistry was easier than I thought.

After chemistry I was practically free from 10 to 230. Lotsa free time sias. So went down to Nicol's house while others were having exams and then pei mummy look at baby and watched TV.. Then went back to school at 12 to meet Nicol they all cos their exams are done already. Theres someone super extra around us lor.. I seriously dont like.

POA was a disaster. I dont think I can pass this time round.. the last question I totally donno how to do can? SianZiPua.. Lasted for one hour only. After than went to Nicol's house to play his bike with JunLe, TianLoke, Ben and SeYen. The bike's outta oil.. So pathetic.. Ben raced this little kid on a bike two times and lost. Ehh.. we had motor and we still lost. Nicol carried JunLe and raced the boy again. And lost again. We're like so losing face can?

Played bike and chatted until 7+, Then now back at home lor.. Bei Pan by Cao Ge is nice. A little addicted to it now. Wanna faster learn the lyrics. LOOKING FORWARD TO CELLGROUP THIS WEEK!! =)) Lovell and YingChuan is joining us!!! Woots~

Ohya.. before I log off. I know I've already thank you once le. But I want to thank you again SOFIAHEAR! Thanks for accompanying me. I think if you didnt pei me ton study de hua. I would've slept a long long time ago. Really thanks alot! =)) If got chances lets go it again alright?

Now that I mention it.. I've only slept for 1 and a half hours today. And I dont feel tired at all.. Weird... maybe someday I might just fall asleep and never wake up again LOL. Nahh, I cant let that happen yet. Too many things I havent done yet. Too many things I havent experience. Too many promises I haven't fufilled. I cant die yet. LOL

~237

I still renenber Nicol's house was really dilapidated back then, like there were cockroaches in the sink and stuff, but someone it was one of my favourite hangout places back then haha! Probably because of the company I guess? I still remember the baby being really cute! As it grew older it was really tanned and we'll behaved, wonder how it's doing now :) Sigh, can't believe I'm blogging so much about CHC back then. So embarassing.. (07/05/14, ADP)

Gong

RAWR!!!

Today's tuesday, the day of my POA and Physics prelims. I'm gonna fail my POA as well hais.. this isnt about having faith anymore. Faith without action is dead. Just like I didnt study for my poa much as well... Ohwells..

Today's POA exam lasted two hours. During POA prelim. I wanted to go to the washroom. So I raised my hand. Mrs Chan came and I asked her if I could go. She said no. Cos theres no teacher around to bring me. Bullshit la. Mr Som was there lor. You stupid old woman.. So nevermind. I tahan lor.. The story dosent end there. I raised my hand again to attract attention. Miss Yong came. Asked the same question, kena rejected again. She said something like "Wait till you're really urgent then I'll let you go." Screw you la. If I really urgent I piss my pants liao lo.. I got huan tio you anot? Why must you treat me liddat sia? So I had to tahan again.. Later I raised my hand again. Finally Mr. Som came. The funny part starts here. There's a toilet behind the stage of the hall but I didnt know that. Mr Som wanted to bring me there. I thought he wanted me to stand on the stage cos I thought I did something bad. When he stepped up the stage and went behind it. I didnt follow him. Instead i walked out of the hall to look for the backdoor to the stage. The door was locked. -.- No choice lor.. have to go back.

When I went back into the hall, Mr Som was walking out of the hall to find me. LOL he zi tao shocked abit. I can see Ben and Valerie laughing behind there lor. I think Mel was also laughing. Then I followed him behind the stage. Then realised that there was a toilet there. I'm kum gong one can? Sorry la people.. Well, at least that provided some entertainment to the mundane exam experiences. I gave some people a good laugh I guess? Ben wants to jio me out to look at Cosplay at Suntec next saturday I think.. That means I wont be coming for cellgroup probably.. I think I'll inform Cecilia next week cos skali last minute Ben change his mind. =/

Went to mac after prelims to slack with friends from 4A and 4B today. Everyone wanted to try the new lunch thingy that ended at 2pm. So we all rushed there. Chatted, JunLe showed them my para para dance thingy. We had a few ideas on how to screw the game up the next time as well. =DD

Took quite alot of candid pics cos I was so damn bored.

I dont know why I just kinda like this picture... =))

Went to Nicol's house with JunLe, Bernice, and Seyen to look at a 1 month old baby... Whoa.. its seriously tough job man. I wanna be a father next time!!! But I'm gonna let my wife take care of the baby when its just an infant. =DD

Actually planned to study at Nicol's house, but everyone wanted to go home. So I also went home.. Used com awhile, and slept all the way will 10. Woke up, watched the news, started studying and watched CSI a little too.. Darnit. Today's studies also not very good lor. Cos not able to concentrate with the TV on, then I lazy to move my ass somewhere else.. After CSI, dad went to bed and I can finally hao hao study abit..

Copied and read notes, then on the com once more. Here I am. Imma go study a little later after blogging this down. Currently talking to SofiaHear and ShiMin. Both sec 2 people LOL. One is studying while one is slacking. -.-

Some people set super high standards for themselves while others set super low standards for themselves. I'm in the super low standards category... I'm content with what I am now I guess? Mehee.. Good luck getting into the class you like Sofia!!! =))

~237

Flunk

Whoa.. so long never so early come back home le.. Its 3pm now.

I also feel like very long never go school le. Today went back to school to take my Maths and History Prelims. I am so so so dead.

I will definately flunk my maths this time round. If I get a D7 or higher for my maths prelims. I would jump for joy! =DD. Too many questions dont know. They never gimme formulas for the important ones. I think my school is using the prelims as a wake up call to all those slackers like me. Good job. They managed to wake me up. I'm gonna study alot alot from now on.. Off to study my physics later on.

History didnt turn out as hard as I expected. SBQ was easy. The SEQ was a little harder as I didnt study. But i managed to give some relevant points and I think I can pass with those kinda marks.. not high though.. I shall study more on that too..

Mel and Val asked me about 60s of fame today! Hahas.. Didnt talk much about it though. I'll try to bring them for the Asia conference after Os. Hope they'll really be able to join me. =DD

Today went to TechView after prelims, and then ate and slacked. Melvin managed to get his hands on my phone and deleted his ugly photos... Shit. He said Laura's chio though. =DD

I really wish I got more chance to see Laura lor... we bond very quickly. But we got very little chances to do that.. Hais... Laura oh Laura.. Pray pray pray that we get into the same poly same course okay? Then I drag you to church to pei me so you'll never leave me again. =DDD My happy smiley girlfriend-if-possible LOL. I feel quite safe saying this cos she'll NEVER read my blog. Very little people besides my churchmates know my blog link. Even much lesser from my primary school. So I'm safe. =DD

I also suddenly get the feeling to want to jio my cousin to go to church as well.. But the time is not right yet. I know it. Lets wait a little while and let Lovell, YingChuan, JunLe, and Tyson get more into the church first ya?

Everyone Jiayou as well!!! I believe if everyone really plays a part, doubling our church and cellgroup attendence is a piece of cake! Get your siblings! Get your best friends! Get ur parents! Get them all!!

I realised I have still been blogging daily nowadays, life's just so fun for me huh? Well, I really hope I dont regret when I get back my result slips. Maybe if my studies suck. I'll go work in the church as a full-time worker? Sounds good..

Its now 0136 am in the morning. I just couldnt get to sleep hais... Studied for 1 and a half hours today. Learnt quite alot. Fairly glad with myself now. Tomorrow's POA and Physics prelims. Wish me luck! Hahas. Hope I can fall asleep soon.

Never assume things. Cos it seriously makes an ass out of you and me. Mark Conner tells me to treat everyone with a 10. Yes, it would indeed make the world a better place. But I just cant do it. I also dont want to PRETEND to treat you with a 10. Cos I'm not a hypocrite. I dont want to be like "HEY! How's it going man? How have you been? Are you doing well in blah blah blah?" When in my mind I seriously dislike you. I am honest to myself. I seriously dont have any feelings for you. Can you stop assuming that I do and then avoid me as if like I'm so in need of you? Dont think so damn highly of yourself. People change, my feelings change. I can like you this minute and the next minute something could change my mind. So stop assuming unless I declare it. Cos my word is my bond. If I really said something it would mean that I'm ready to pay the price. If I didnt then dont assume. Ass-u-me. Shut up.

My eyes are a little heavy now. I think i'll go to sleep soon. Got Prelims tomorrow mehehe.. Quite proud of myself today. Hope I can do better tomorrow! =D

The second last paragraph was a paragraph of utter randomness. =/
~237

So anyway I'm just done watching "Eden", pretty good show really! I remember flanking my prelims really badly but ah well! At least my Os turned out fine? Wow I kinda can't believe that mel and Val would actually ask about the 60s of fame thingie. It was kinda boring though if I remember correctly hahaha!! I think I was kinda irritating to Laura back then actually haha! Was never really good with girls :/ the paragraph about assumptions was probably dedicated to Charmaine though I think? Oh my god so embarrassed I'd actually take a like to someone of thar calibre back then -.-

Satisfied?

Am I satisfied with myself now?

Today I decided to study my maths and History. Didnt turn out too well. The maths was too hard and the history was too boring... I have to tell you guys the truth. I did not study very much today cos after awhile I felt a little sleepy... I really really need god's strength now..

Today was an okay day. I brought Yingchuan and Tyson to church. They both seem rather attracted. I'm happy! =DD A little sad Lovell couldn't join me today lor.. Even he's starting to study also le.. Waahh.. must buck up!!!

The service today was good. The praise song today was okay.. But the worship song "Amazing Grace" turned out to be really good today. Whoa.. I love that song now. Today celebrated Josiah's bdae. His mum bought for the cellgroup a $100 cake. Wow, I think his mum really loves him alot. I think I must really fellowship to Josiah a little more. Maybe he'll open up to me then. =DD. I heard he was fairly happy with his present.

Went to Airport with Jordan, Nicholas, Yingchuan, Jonathan, Cyril and Charmaine to Airport to study and eat a little. Met this madman there. He pissed me off quite abit cos he tiao-ed Jonathan for quite a long while. I think my temper's still rather bad lor. I was ready to grab a chair and slam it into that guy's face if only those people around me didn't stop me. I shall not elaborate on shit-ed up stuff like that. Hope the madman finds his cure soon. Poor, Pathetic madman..

Mark Conner told us to look at everyone with a 10. I'm still not really doing that yet. Gotta learn a little more then! There's always room for improvement. =D I can start by looking at everyone with a 10. But as time passes my impression of them changes, and their scale accends and descends.. No longer a 10. But maybe lesser or more..

Later went to study at some ulu ulu corner. Its a dead end. But people keep walking in, then found out its a dead end and walked back. Pretty pathetic. Some people didnt believe us and had to prove it for themselves. I guess this is just typical humans. Then do not trust others so easily and HAVE to see it for themselves to satisfy their curiosity. Funny huh? I think if I was one of those who didnt know it was a dead end. I would have also done the same. Cecilia, CheeWee, and this guy whom I donno his name joined us for fellowshipping. It was fun. Jordan left after awhile and I was fairly bored after he left. Tried to sleep but couldnt find a comfortable position.

Played cards, Experienced abit of Kung Fu, and disturbed Cyril for awhile. Then went to Macs to eat with Cyril, CheeWee, Charmaine, Nicholas and YingChuan. Chatted awhile before going to take the bus with Cyril and YingChuan. I really really hope YingChuan can become a christian as well! =DDD Having faith..

I wasn't very productive today. And tomorrow's my prelims. I shall really try harder. Pray for me alright? Pray that i'll really have the determination and willpower to last through all these. I wanna be like CheeWee in terms of studying attitude.

There's this person I really really want to call. But I know I shouldnt, cos i'll interupt the person and it wont be nice. Ahh.. saddeds~

You are special. =DD

~237

Although this is heavily edited, this is a picture of nicol now in the year 2014, he's been my best friend every since secondary 3. Anws in regards to the post I remember Josiah as being really really introverted. I thought people like these were reslly rare but turns out in gedong, these people are a dime a dozen yknow?  They just don't know how to make friends and says the weirdest shit thst pisses ppl off at the most inappropriate times. I'm ashamed that I acted like such a punk back in those days sigh. Wanting to beat up lunatics and what not. As you grow older you realize it's harder to look at everyone with a 10 yknow? So much so that I've stopped trying a long time ago.  What's the point? No one is a 10. It'd be nice to be seen as one though that's probably what the pastor was trying to bring across to us. I think the person whom I wanted to call was probably either Sofia or Valerie. Doesn't really matter now does it? (030514, ADP)

Clown

Today was uber fun~

Its kinda like my last day of enjoyment before I really start chionging studies.

Went to Escape with Cyril, Jordan, JunLe, Lovell and YingChuan. Played LOTS of games. We first went to play this spinning game. There was no space for us. So I had to sit beside this girl. She looked... okay. I saw her again when I wanted to buy a drink. She probably played the bumper boats. Actually wanted to talk to her a little, but then in the end never got like abit paiseh LOL. Took video of the ride. Ask me if you wana see it. =DD

Then later went to play the 'inverter' a ride where we spin 360 degrees round and round. Its the game we played the most time. The safety "belt" is super pain lor walao.. Lovell and Jordan kept complaining that their leg hurt. It was pretty fun. JunLe purpose spat when we were a the top part of the ride. So out spit would actually go upwards instead of down. Since we're upside down LOL. Pretty disiaoing. But super duper funny! I wish all my friends were here to enjoy with me lor..

Went to the haunted house. It wasnt scary at all. Just super dark. So you might actually scare yourself in all these darkness. I punched the ghost alot of times. (Its a fake toy. And its face is soft. =D)

Played cart. I pressed the accelerator all the way and crashed at the turns ALOT of times. Pretty painful. My right heel hurts quite alot. It was fairly hard.. We queued one hour for it just for 15 mins of pain. LOL. I think Lovell and Jordan had the most fun on this one. I was a crazy rider man. When I parked my ride. I pressed Accelerator instead of brake. And rammed into Jordan. And Jordan rammed into Lovell LOL!!! There was even once when my car almost toppled cos I crashed into the side thingy.. In the end I think the car broke down. So we quickly ran away.. LOL

Also played this Pirate Ship game. Cyril had a weak heart and had to sit at the front part. It was still too much for him though. We all others had a great time enjoying that ride. Cos when I got to the highest point. My lampa kiu abit LOL! (Those who dont understand dont ask what that means.)

Super funny.. There was also this bumper boat thingy. Me, Lovell, Jordan and JunLe rode on the boats to shoot at Cyril and YingChuan. Cyril was the dryest of them all.. It's damn fun.

Went to the haunted house at night with Lovell and Jordan. But cos we were all soaking wet. It was frickin cold. All those ghosts weren't scary at all as we rushed for the exit cos it was really frickin cold. Lovell was cussing all the way LOL.

Later went to eat at White Sands. Planned to go buy Josiah's present after eating. Sorry Charmaine for keeping you waiting for so long..

The whole day was damn tired. I was still soaking as I entered Tampinese mall to buy the toy for Josiah. Then went to slack at the Arcade. We saw this girl dancing like a professional at the Para Para machine. It turned out to be Cyril's friend's friend. The girl dancing was said to be one of the top students.. wow. When I looked at the para para screen.. it was made up of singular arrows.. Which meant it was at beginner's mode. Then the girl dance until like it was so nessasary to do all those "professional" moves.. LOL. I decided to mess around a little. So after she was done. I played the game. I played beginner mode as well cos I know I can score properly with that mode. When the game started. I was kicking at the sensors. It wasnt randomly kicking. I actually scored combos okay? More and more people gathered to watch me "dance" LOL. Scored a B for almost all the songs. I did the same thing yesterday before the 60s of fame as well. But it had a lesser crowd. OH YA! I also so Sophia at the arcade yesterday! She didnt see me do the "dance" though..

After awhile quite tiring.. But I wanted to entertain my crowd. Then JunLe shouted "Copy the cartoon dancing at the screen!" So I did that. It was pretty retarded. But I dont really care LOL. I'm quite a clown by nature and I dont really care what others feel as long as I can entertain them. Even at my own expense. Like most people would think its lao kui if it was them dancing like a moron there. But I believe I entertained them quite well. Messed around with the game by doing retarded moves and kicking the sensors. I SCORED FIRST! LOL!!! Then some ah bengs behind clapped for me LOL. Super duper funny la.. I dont feel lao kui at all lor, actually quite happy cos I managed to add a little bit of colour into everyone's day there. Even though it was quite a bengly and brave act I did there LOL. =DD Returned home high, wet, and smelly. I SCORED A FRICKIN FIRST AND I WAS JUST FOOLING AROUND WITH THE GAME!!! LOL!!! Someone invite me to do that for the 60s of fame! That's if they can bring in the game onto the stage la.. >.< without the machine people would just think I'm a spastic guy doing retarded stuff. You HAVE to see my scoring combos by just kicking like a moron.

When I alighted at the bus at my house. I saw this guy with golden hair and some piercing at his nose. Step-gangster sia.. Then donno why he go block my way. Limpei zi tao dont care him then just prepared to zham my shoulder past him. But last minute he jump away to siam me. LOL! I NOT LYING! HE REALLY JUMPED AWAY AS IF I WAS ON A BICYCLE! Then I donno what the hell he say. Dont really care also. Then he also never come after me after I make him paiseh. Want paikia do it with some class la. Dont last minute humji siam me leh. Dye hair pierce nose then siam some guy who is wet, sweaty and tired ah? You not paiseh for yourself ah? I paiseh for you ah tmd.. Maybe he was scared of me cos alot of people tell me that when I look tired, I look damn fierce? Hahas~

Ahh.. Tomorrow gonna study already.. Ahwells.. Everyone wish me luck!!! =DD Thanks to everyone who keep telling me to study!!! =DD

~237

Oh yeah despite really despising Cyril now, that was really a fun day out!  Silly mat though, wish I could go back in time and smack that little punk's face.  Fun day fun day.. Wish I didn't so those silly stuff back then though :/ (29/4/14)

Reflection

After a weary day today. I sit down before my all so familiar screen and reflected to myself..

Am I reverting back to my old self more and more? The 'jerky' ADP? The one that does not bother about how others think about him? Well. I've came to a conclusion. Yes. I am reverting back to the old me. But I will not let that happen. Its time to grow up. Seriously. Grow up.

I shall promise myself not to be so disiao-ing as I was last time. I shall be more quiet. More caring, more brotherly. I think i've been 'brotherly'. Yeah. I believe i really do care about other's welfare. I shall speak less about how people act and say. I am in no right to decide what they think and act. And its not nice to make comments either. How can I be so angry with someone else, when I'm doing almost the same thing? I do not want to turn into the person I hate.

I shall stay quiet. Keep thoughts to myself. And keep my mouth shut about some stuff. Since it will be all the better for everyone. Since nobody is perfect. I should not really go attack their weaknesses and so called "prove" how powerful and smart I am. I should not be a jerk like that. I want to become someone that is true to myself and others. Someone that can be trusted. I'm not saying I cant be trusted now. I just want to say that I can become more trustworthy. And I know it better than anyone else. So I shall admit my weaknesses and correct it.

Keep my frickin mouth shut.

I do not want to ruin other's moments like how others would ruin my moment. Cos its just not cool. My outside friends might be able to accept who I am. As in the noisy, naughty, kaopei, a bit violent ADP. But will my church friends accept me like that? Maybe, maybe a portion only. But why make it ONLY a portion when I can make everyone like me better? Since its for my benefit. I shall control and reserve myself and hopefully one day be able to change my kaopeiness. I want to be like Jonathan. =DD

Today's event was okay. Ben didnt seem very attracted. Cant really blame him though.. At least i'm happy he came! =D. Ben now really wants to start studying lor. So many people is rushing me to study also. Although some are just passing comments. I feel that its really time to start studying. I shall finally make my move. God please help me and gimme the willpower to not give up and be able to chiong all the way for this last two months.

Tomorrow I shall have my last 'relaxing moment' I shall go to escape and slack for one last time before the war. Starting from SUNDAY. I shall start really mugging and cramming. And I shall really really try my best to not sleep during lessons. I shall make a change for the better.

God please please really help me on this. I know I cannot do this alone lord. I really really need your power now. Gimme the power to last through these two weeks and not dissappoint myself and I promise. I'll bring in more 'workers' for you lord. Like what the bible says. "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."

Which verse is that anyways? XDD

~237

Jonathan is one of the few people in CHC that I still hold a little bit of respect for. Hes currently still in the navy as a ME I think? Ah well none of my business. Compared to back then, I sure am a bigger jerk than I was back then! But that doesn't mean I didn't grow up? I just got sick of the hypocrites around me in CHC back then. You cant just be nice to everyone, so what if some thinks you're a jerk? Fuck em. While I always constantly remind myself to not become someone I'll hate, i don't think that's happening right now, I have merely realised that you can't treat everyone the same, while some are parasites and others are hypocrites, there are also just plain rude judgemental scoundrels who shoot their mouth off because they are currently at a higher standing than you are. Humans are fucked up. Society is fucked up. Which is why I've learnt to not treat everyone the same. While I still try to be kind to all, I now do not hesitate to lash back or react when I have to instead of trying to be a nice guy and "touch their hearts with love". Pain is a much better lesson. At least that's what I've came to realize. You dont need the whole world to like you foolish young ADP, really. What matters is that at the end of the day you can account for yourself! (Future Dun, 29/4/14)

Prayer meeting

I'm heading for Cyril's house soon! Now at JunLe's house slacking..

Tomorrow's the 60s of fame already.. hope its fun..

Just finished playing ASsasin's Creed and DOA 2 just now. How I wish life was like Assasin's creed. You kill someone and get away with it so easily... XDD

I guess the sadist in my still hasnt fully died yet huh? Ahwells. Assasin's creed rox la.. The graphics... Cos you can actually use the enviroment around you to manuever yourself around. Like real life. Just that we're much less agile.

Hais.. Also just finished my tuition. Woke up super early today just to go there and study for 1.5 hours. I think I need to really revise after the tuitions lor. Otherwise later everything forgotten le..

Loke! Lovell! YingChuan! Tyson! Faster confirm with me leh!!!

EDIT: Just came back from outside. Went to prayer meeting. It lasted for 2 hours!! Some who said will come, didnt come. Some who said WONT come, in the end came. Ironic sias..

I realised I prayed alot today.. cos everyone abit quiet.. Hahas. I realised some people really have alot of burden on them la.. I guess sometimes when something matters alot to you, you feel more burden for it.. Stay happy man! You are always the kee siao one! I donno what's going on in ur life. And I have no need to know. But just to let you know. Even though we aren't that close. If you got any problems or troubles. Dont hesitate to come find me. I'll do my best to help you de!

Like you NEED my help.. hehs.

Then later on.. went to eat, then went home with Cecilia and JunLe, on the bus, saw Willy and his friend. Donno his name XDD. Then talked abit about the school stuff.. Willy cussed alot. I'm abit happy that Cecilia didnt appear angry at all. Tried to jio him go for tml's event but failed. Ohwells..

Then went to Edupath to find WeiJi, slacked abit. And now we're at home. I ask him to come stay at my house that tomorrow we can go for the event together. In the end found out he got some stuff on at RP, which is at Woodlands.. -.-

Ahwells.. He's now sitting beside me nia. Going to sleep soon liao.. PRAY THAT TOMORROW'S EVENT WILL NOT BE BORING!!!

I'm also happy that Lovell and YingChuan finally confirmed with me. Tyson couldnt come though. TianLoke tells me to call him tomorrow. Which is what I'll do. =D

Everyone stay happy! =DD

~237

A picture of Jesus on the cross since this post was kinda about my obsession to CHC and it's activities. It's from the movie "Son of God", not very intrigued by it though I have played and paused it since last Friday and i'm still not done with the film yet. Probably because I've read about the story of christ so many times already.. I think there was an older movie about the bible too if I recall. Anyway it's funny how I say the graphics were good back then because compared to now, these graphics are only average at best. That's how fast technology is developing guys! Speaking of tuition in this post, I really wanna continue teaching tuition after I ord! Too bad there's only one student for me for now sigh.. I wonder why I kept trying to impress Charmaine back then despite her being such a bitch. Damn what a loser I was.. I dont know why but I don't really have a good impression of Tyson now,  maybe cos he lacked the basic decency to reply to my msn message a long time ago when i asked him to join me for muay thai or something? (29/4/14, labor day is coming bitches!!)

Fun

Was pretty pissy this morning. But I'm much better now.

Went out with JunLe and BenJi to tampinese to look for chains for my black jeans. In the end realised they're around $20-$30 per. I shall save up, repay my debts, and go buy em after my Os. =DD

Fellowshiped a little (aka slacked.), then had to send Ben to his tuition place. Me and JunLe then ran down to Edu to visit jiji for awhile. Saw him, I ask him to come my house stay tomorrow so I can bring him down to the 60s on friday. Also got this shirt I want t0 give him I dunwan wear liao..

Then later rushed with JunLe to my house to bathe and eat, then Cecilia came and taught us tuition. Didnt learn as much as I usually did.. I must try harder the next time! Tomorrow morning still got Chemistry tuition sia walao..

Feel that I very shack. But when I compare myself to the PRCS people who are SEC 2 only, I feel much better cos I know theres alot of people out there also slogging their guts out. Some even worse.

Later go eat at macs with Cecilia and JunLe, fellowshipped a little. JunLe kena kan by his mum. But I think hes used to it le la.. its like a procedure..

So now, back home here. Cooled down alot. And is blogging down now. All five friends are not confirmed yet... =(

~237

I never got any chains for my jeans after I "saved money" back then. And I'm glad I didn't though they looked ridiculous oh my.. Jiji is currently in my camp and we hang from time to time now too! He's a great guy! I wonder how is JunLe doing though! Anyway time to fall in for breakfast! Insomnic ADP let's go!! (24/4/14, 0605am aka time to fall in for breakfast)

Pissed

Darnit.. My father go and install back the chinese thing on the comp.. I tot he reformatted then jiu wont make the same mistake le.. Donno what hes thinking..

Piss me off. I hate my com la.

Recently I've been like blogging daily.. I guess its cos I'm just too bored le bah? Nothing to do. I think I'll go do a little bit of my maths later. Today skipped the retest I'm supposed to have at school. Anticipated that it would happen cos I KNEW i would oversleep.. ahwells..

Looking forward to tomorrow's prayer meeting and friday's event. Also looking forward towards the end of the O levels so i can finally spend more time with my friends. I realise that I have very little time to do stuff nowadays lor. Everyone's super busy can? Shited up.. Why cant singapore be a less stressful place? Look at the other schools in other country, they can wear their own clothes to school and have so much freedom, like can choose to not go to school if they feel like it and then the teachers also dont really care. And I heard the exams are super easy can? Just thay they teach more language subjects nia. Us leh? What the hell? Maths, Science. Like I'm gonna use CHEMISTRY in my everyday life liddat. As if I'm even gonna SEE chemicals after I graduate from school. Like i'm gonna use TRIGONOMETRY in my everyday life liddat.. wtf la. Useless, not applicable knowledge = bullshit.

Take up space in my head only.. I rather learn languages lor. At least that one can use to communicate with people in everyday life. Trigo communicate what? You need triangles in real life ah? You architect meh? Not everyone architect wad. So why must everyone learn it? Why cant it be applicable to people who are interested only? Education system no more topics to teach us then teach us stuff that we dont need and dont want to know..

Super pissed super pissed. I'm pissy about everything right now. From my studies to myself. I'm pissed about stuff that I do. Stuff that I SHOULD do but dont want to. Stuff that would benefit one side but not the other and then I have to decide.

I cant stand humans. WHY do they take pleasure on inflicting pain on others? Why do they not take pride in doing good? Why are they no happy with other people's accomplishments? Why do they look down on others? Why do they do bad things and then make up hundreds of reasons to cover up their asses when they KNOW that the reason does not matter.

Its like... It dosent matter WHY you killed that person. The fact is, you killed that person. Understand? Reasons dosent really matter. Dont gimme shit like. "Oh, someone else would have done it if I didnt do it anyways." SCREW YOU! The point is you did it. So you take responsibility. Dont gimme lame excuses to defend yourself! There are stuff I keep inside me cos I dont want to quarrel with you, I dont want to stain relationships. But sometimes people just cant learn. Cos no one tells them. When we do, they think we're against them. Foolish humans.. Why cant you open your eyes? They say one of the 7 deadly sins is pride. Now I finally understand better why.

I am the same. Cos of my ego last time. It prevented me from doing alot of stuff. It prevented me from learning my mistakes. Cos I wanted to stay in my comfort zone and not face the fact that I was wrong cos i'm afraid of lao kui-ing. When they 'told me', I got pissed. No one likes to get dissed la. But sometimes when it is the cold hard fact. The right thing to do is to just shut up and dont repeat the same mistakes. Dont gimme shit like. Oh. Others also like that wad. I'm not the only one. You dont understand the whole situation. Know what? I DONT CARE ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION. YOU DID THE THING. YOU PAY FOR IT. DONT TELL ME ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. JUST TELL ME IF YOU DID IT OR NOT. You did something wrong and you hate me for it? What kind of logic is that? Prideful, blind people..

Humans are complicated, self-delusional, contradicting creatures. That kinda includes me as well. Which is why I'm kinda pissed sometimes. But at least I know i'm not the worst creature of them all. =DD

I just studied for 45mins straight! wow..

Adapted from Hyder's blog: Talk is cheap. Time is money. Fate is unfair. And destiny is inevitable.

So cliche. LOL

~237

This is an update from the year 2014. Wow Hidhir's quote is really deep for a 16 year old! Anyway if the past me could take a look at life now I'm sure he wouldn't feel that everyone is "super busy" back then. Pfft. I was kinda right though? I never used any knowledge that I learnt for the O's since graduation till now, cept for languages I guess? Knowledge doesn't necessarily equate to bullshit though that's something I've learnt throughout the years. It's only bullshit when you don't apply them. Like trigonometry. Kinda proud of my insight on human beings back then though. Cool stuff.

Gift

God has given me a gift.

It goes by the name of 'Ben'.

Just now he call me sia, i superduper scared. I damn scared he cannot make it for the friday event thingy.. End up I think hes kinda responsible la. In the end he still can make it. So i'm happy. =DD

Now still alot of my friends unconfirmed. Planning to ask them at a later date. Otherwise they xian me fan then I jiu hongkan lo.. Next time harder to get em to come to church..

Mehehe.. Benji's been my classmate for four years already. Knew him more well at the end of sec 3 actually. Cos my sec 1 and sec 2 life is super duper shited up. Ask anyone from my class and you'll know. Its.. very.. unique.

He wants to help me tailor my pants help me add chains to it if I pay him LOL. I dont mind. =D. Friday I'm going TM to see chains then I go for the 60s. =DD

Yaa.. Recently he just recovered from sickness nia. Then end up I sick sia walao.. super shack. But nevermind. Friday jiu can see him liao. Actually today wan go meet him eat de. But remembered no money.. Then went home hungry and sian.. Then slept. Then woke up do four maths questions and then blogged and watched calefare at the same time. Sorry Ben, I wont be joining you tomorrow for school.. Sorry sorry.. Its my loss anyways. XDD

LOL SO DAMN SLACK.

Today had retest for Humanities. Dont think i'm gonna pass cos I never study.. Ohwells..

Someone open their blog for two days then close back again.. Ah well she says its for her to focus on her studies.. Maybe I should do the same? Naah..

I'll find my own way to help myself study. Maybe I should get people to study with me? People who will really study.

The people who are unconfirmed are: Lovell, YingChuan, JinSong, Tyson, TianLoke. (Please dont ask me for their updates. If I got update. I'll tell you. Save your five cents for a message more meaningful.)

Stupid Tyson says I am hungry for chiobus.. hey, its men's instinct can? Just that I more open about it nia. XDD

I just managed to make Cecilia promise me that if e18 multiply, she will take both cellgroups! =DD So happy.

~237

Sigh I wanna have glorious hair like this guy in the picture. Probably have to go see the MO later after first parade and I haven't slept a wink since 3pm.. Anyway back then I actually wasn't really that into chicks, I just thought it'd be a good medium to bring people into CHC if I told them that there was an abundance of pretty ladies back then. Silly me, becoming a pawn for city fucking harvest church. 

Step of faith

I'm gonna take a step of faith and invite everyone to go for this Prayer Meeting for the Cell Group!!! =DD

Please come if you're able to make it. I think I've called all of you le bah? Me and Cyril has been doing that just now..

October is coming. Our target has not been reached yet.. Its really the time we really need to finally make a bigger effort to fufil this mission bestowed upon us..

Wow I sound so spritual. I shall stop here. PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!

ShuWen and Charmaine ask me who organise de sia.. funny question.. Does it really matter who organises this? Main point is that we get together and pray as a family. Is the person that organises this more important than the event itself? If Cecilia wasnt the one who organised this. Does that mean that you will not come? I'm really worried.. Especially for my connect group leader cos we haven't been having our Connect group prayer meeting for a very long time already.. I dont wanna get dried up spiritually inside..

Lets hope that Cyril and Charmaine can really be able to get their connect group members to come also! I'm tired of sitting and waiting for stuff to happen. I dont want to be a fruitful-less person. I'm gonna kick some ass! =DD

Currently got alot of people unconfirmed... I really really hope that before thursday Marilyn's dad will let her off and then she can join us as well. I also really really hope Celeste and Charmaine get their injection done quickly so they can also join us. Faster take the damn needle and come lah dehs.. =DDD

~~~~
Okay back to the usual irritating ADP mode..

Today I broke Cyril's slippers. I fixed it back. But I still dont feel good about it. He bought it for a day and then it broke the next day cos of me... 0.O

Today slacked alot with JunLe and Cyril at JunLe's house, we watched 'Red Cliff'. It was okay la. A little Gory. But we're MEN! We can take the whole gory stuff in da face dudes!!

Then later went to eat at parkway and played a little bit of arcade. I won this balloon hammer thingy that I'm gonna bring on the 60s of fame to whack people's head. =D

Oh! I also read Sofia's blog. Whoa, she posted about my post leh.. Feeling superduper proud of myself now. Cos I made that blog out of frustration from some people de.. Never expected someone to think about stuff as well.. But I guess I'm right? People change, you change, I change, everything changes.. Feel like shit? Well, that can be changed too. It all depends on you. =D

Tomorrow is my SS retest.. I havent studied for it yet. Not really intending to study.. I donno why I feel that it wont be that hard. I just cant seem to take my prelims seriously. I just want to focus on my Os. GOD HELP ME TO HELP MYSELF! GIMME SOME WILLPOWER MAN! I DONT WANNA HAVE REGRETS COS OF MY RESULTS!!

~237

I guess if you're speaking from this post's POV (if that's even correct grammar), I did get dried up spiritually in the end. Shu Wen turned out to be a disgusting hypocrite and Charmaine is no better. I wonder how they're doing right now. Disgusting fucks. My only regret from that period of time was that I hurt Sofia so much afterwards. But I guess it had to be done. Sucks to have guilt bearing on your shoulders though :/ (28/4/14)